At no point did I wonder whether your smile

Would be enough

You could have balanced the earth on it or cut neat through an assailant.

I was dumbfounded hearing you were dead. Dead dumbfounded. Uneasy in my chair. Twisted around my own gut. Unfocused on the simple terrain of no one and nothing asking me to look nowhere.

You not being there. Was too much. And only so because I had placed you on a shelf as silky smooth as your skin in my mind. Blended you in.

Left you there to live a happy life.

At no point did I wonder if my last goodbye those many years ago

Would be enough

I waved.

Watched you walk away on your chocolate coated woman’s path through this life’s field and I wondered if anyone saw the purple.

Free and wild swirling all around you.

At no point did I wonder if the way the swirl could turn to thunder and the chocolate to mahogany ever hurt.

I wish I had at least let you know that I saw warmth in your eyes.

And I was proud to have earned that.

I will carry you in my heart. No shelves or blending. No solitary islands. You are with others to whom I said unknown last goodbyes.

And I hope I gave enough warm eyes. Enough laughter and smiles.